Hey all...i just stumbled in My life has been at least to say interesting...and when i saw what all you others wrote i thught id give it a shot to. Its realy tuff to get it all to gether so plz exuse me if it might sound werid or wimpy i was born as a gentle and kind child..quiet but happy..things changed tho..at the age of 10 i started to play role games..getting up and cought in the ways of magic and such..exiting i thought , it was at the moment...Some years later i was forced to a summer camp...And my o my... such lovley girls..i was horny to say at the least...so i even followed them to church every week...there i found a loot of disturbing stuff As the year when by i guess i just whent whit the flow..untill one night not feeling all that tierd i was just letting my mind drift...when i feelt a suden jolt in the spirit...some thing was coming...and a split second after that i feelt my mind beeing riped at..images of creatuers and feelings of hate over came me..so fast and hard..i coud feel the deamons they where so real..and i was so scared..i coudent fokus..but some thing came to me as if a memory i called out to Jesus..just saying his name it took a while..i cant say how longe..time was hard to....well i feel a sleep totaly exauseded that was the first time...much has happend since then..i had some offers of power frome the evil side...but i know now that it cant be worht it and i have head the voie of God Its amasing tho...ive never feelt more power coming at me than i did at that night....and still the small panting of the name of the son turned them a way i am still so far frome God...allways trying to get out....but i still know God lives and the power belonges to him...there is no other way to be truly happy... he bings me such joy as i never feelt...and it keeps coming...even when im down i know that it doesent matter what i can se and feel..God rules (and he has a awsome set of humor) So if you are out there...feeling low or just empty..know this...drugs are patethic compared whit the cool stuff and laughts you will have whit God And by the way....the life of a cristian is allmost pure struggle to do what is right you shoud know that...its not a thing to be taking to ligty upon...But it is the coolest aventure of all times I promise Otto. age 20 (Feel free to eml me)

Crown_of_swords@hotmail.com

"I was brought up in a large family home. It was haunted, my mother was an alcoholic, and my father and mother lived in separate ends of the house, quite clearly not getting on. At eight years old I decided that there was no God. Fear and insecurity raged inside me.
While at boarding school in the same term two friends from home committed suicide. That set me off on a search "What is death". I had to leave school early to have an operation on my leg, and return to a governess at home for one year to have lessons. Back to the haunted house and alcoholic mother.

After the year still in my teens I became a trainee nurse, during which I became involved in occult things, my whole life fell apart, and I was committed to a psychiatric hospital, violent, morbidly depressed, obsessed by death. I was diagnosed "severe mental illness" prognosis long-term hospitalisation. I was under lock and key, 36 tablets a day, all treatments tried, still no improvement.

After several years I was moved by escort to occupational therapy where I escaped, got involved with black market drugs, reached 4 stone and arranged (after repeatedly attempting suicide) to meet some drug pushers to take an overdose. They did not turn up! so I tumbled in, (in order to escape the police as I was on section Certified) on a Christian meeting. These Christians prayed for me after my return to the hospital, in fact my first visitors. They said a simple prayer "Lord Jesus, Please heal this girl's mind" at which He did.

As a result of Jesus healing me, the knowledge that He had moved me from darkness into His light, the knowledge that I had been ill, it was not everyone else. A vast improvement took place, a reduction in tablets. I asked Jesus to come into my life, the joy, the peace, the knowledge that I would not be in hospital for life, the awareness that the sick would be made well, all overwhelmed me. I do Praise God for what He has done for me, and wants to do for others either mentally sick or physically sick. My book, documentary video, audio cassette "Free To Live".

http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/town/square/gg38 (copies available from me at odm@dial.pipex.com) tells my astonishing story of my total healing through Christian ministry. I try also to focus on the red-hot question of healing through prayer and the Christian ministry of deliverance - combating the occult. Today I am actively involved in evangelism, and go out by invitation giving my testimony and praying for those with needs.

Praise the name of Jesus. I bring you greetings from Nigeria. I come from Lagos, Nigeria. The testimony that I'm going to share today is the testimony of my conversion. It's a wonderful experience to know the Lord. It's something good to be in Christ.

I want to go back to my early days.
Way back in 1993, actually I was on my way here to the United States from Lagos. I was at the airport I checked in my luggage. You know in Nigeria facilities are not really too good. Things were sure hot at the airport. My flight was supposed to be at 1:30 am in the morning. I checked in around 7 pm in the night. It was so hot I decided to go back home freshen up and come back later. About 11 pm I came back to the airport only to hear the announcement for the last boarding of my flight. To cut a long story short, I missed the flight. I had to go back home, there was another flight to the United States leaving on Friday which I hoped to take. The following day I went back to the office where I received a call from my colleague around 6 pm. We had a lot of exchange problems in Nigeria, it was difficult to obtain US dollars which we normally use for international trade. So around 6 pm I had a call that I should come somewhere at Victoria island, that there's a man who had an account here who's willing to exchange some money for me. On the way back from this place I ran into a gang of armed robbers. It was a moving experience. Up to that time in my life God has no place. Even to tell you I mean how bad I was then. I'm not trying to give glory to Satin, I thank God. I've been into all kind of things I'm someone who's given to reading. I read all kind of things. I've read about and practiced Yoga. I practiced astral-projection and read Veda and Buddha. I read anything you could think of about the occult. It was only the grace of God that stopped me from going over.

I remember in my room in my undergraduate days I read electronic engineering. You know I had some Christian friends in my room and they would gather together in the evening praying. And I mean to my shame today I know more about scripture today then to criticize. I would tell them how the ministry of Jesus was only for the Jews. You know when I read about the history of the blacks there was something that questioned me, "Can this God be universal you know a God who did so much against the blacks could He be the same God that we should all worship?" So it was difficult for me to accept Christ or Christianity. You know I spent the whole 4 years of my undergraduate days preaching against the gospel everywhere I could and everywhere I could stand up. But I remember a prophecy in my first year. One of my roommates, Wilfred took a look at me, people were hailing me. You know I was quoting from the scriptures. Christians didn't know as much as I did. He told me, "You know what Femi, you will preach the gospel." I said, "Wilfred take another look at me. Bring Jesus come down from heaven. I mean that is wishful thinking." He said, "You will preach the gospel." Wilfred forgot about it, I remember in my final year he asked me to call on Jesus. I said, "I don't need any Jesus." I thought it was my part, I came out with the first class. I thought it was all by my part. I took to life, I thought I had the whole world in my pocket. So it was at this point that I worked for a couple years in an oil service industry. I incorporated a company with some colleagues. Two of them were Muslims. One of them was a very fanatic Muslim. You know it really didn't matter much to me, I mean the scripture about being unequally yoked. But the hand of God was upon my life. I was youngest. In fact the person I was next to graduated the year I was just getting admission to the university, but I was his boss in the office. So it created conflict and jealousy. After all what's so special about this young guy. I was sort of the technical store house of the company. So this fateful day as we just left Victoria land on our way back to the office a car just crossed my way. I slammed on the brake and before you could just say Jesus I had a gun pointing at my head. And just as that scene was going on about 20 km away, my wife was just passing through the living room and her eyes fell upon our wedding picture and she heard a revelation. I know there are a lot of women here whose husbands are not here. I don't want you to loose hope, I want you to keep on praying. God is about to move in your life, God is about to move in the life of your husband. I normally took my wife to church, but I just dropped her by the gate of the church and headed for the sports field or office. But she kept on praying. Just at that time she herd a voice that I was gone. God quickened her spirit and she rushed into the room and started interceding for me.

When this car crossed my path I didn't know that the men were armed. I thought it was just a drunken driver so I slammed on the break. When I started starring at the gun I knew it wasn't a joke. He asked me to get down from the car, which I did. My briefcase, my passport, and my driving license were in the car, everything that could identify me was there. The car was just four months old. He made me lie in the street while he and his three colleagues zoomed off with the car. A kind of peace descended upon me which I could not explain.

Later when I was listening to my wife's testimony it was exactly at the time that the gun was pointed at my head that she heard the voice. She was carrying a seven months pregnancy and this was around 10 PM. She had to request a neighbor's assistance to go and look for me; that something has happened. And to give you little background I work very hard. I work very late, sometimes I don't get home till maybe around midnight and this was just 10 pm. My neighbor told my wife, "I know your husband, it's not unusual this is still early". My wife insisted that something has happened. When I left my office that fateful evening I didn't lock the door of the office, I just put on the security gate. My laptop was still on my table running because I thought it was going to be a quick transaction and that I would still come back to the office. When my wife got to my office her worst fear was confirmed. They searched the whole road, no sign. They started searching the hospitals. It wasn't till around 3 am in the morning that I was able to put a call through to my house and of course she wasn't in. She was still busy searching for me. It wasn't until around 3:30 am that she finally came to the police station where I went to report.

You know all through this time I was a bit sober, but I wasn't broken. It was when some friends came over and my wife was sharing what transpired that night that I was moved. But I knew from what I read about the occult that there are powers in the world. I knew there are powers, but the idea of God speaking to you about what is going on somewhere, was a bit far fetched for me then. My father in law too testified of a vision he had that afternoon of a blood-bath. He did the only thing he knew, praying in the name of Jesus. He started interceding for me. You know I had a very close friend at work we shared everything together. But when it came to the issue of Jesus I just asked him to hang up. We are very close. But I thank God. He's a member of the Full Gospel Businessmen's Fellowship International (FGBMFI). Several times he invited me to the fellowship's breakfast outreach meeting. I would promise to attend but I wouldn't honor my commitment. One day he said, "Femi we're having a breakfast and I'm preaching Saturday would you like to come?" I said, "yes" just not to hurt him. Somehow the Holy Spirit knew what He wanted to do that day. He turned to my wife, "Dupe will you be coming?" She said, "we will be coming." Saturday morning came and my wife reminded me that we had a date that morning. I said, "sorry I won't be able to go." She said, "but you promised." I said, "yes I know somebody invited me to come and take breakfast, and if I don't feel like it, is that a crime?" I saw the hurt on her face. I believe the Holy Spirit made me look in her eyes and I saw she was deeply hurt. She said, "I should please do this one for her." And somehow the sequence of what happened on the night of the robbery flashed through my mind, and I asked myself in all honesty; if my wife had been in the same position that I was in, would I have really staked my life to go and start looking for her? The answer was no. I said, "OK if this is so much important to you I will go along with you." You know my idea about Christian's up to this point in time was that of a drab looking people. I looked for some of my old clothes that I haven't worn in years just to be able to fit in. This was my thinking. We got to the Sheraton Hotel, the venue of the meeting, even though I wasn't a Christian at that time I could feel something different about the gathering. I felt so odd. I felt something missing in me. When the praise worship started I couldn't believe the kind of ecstasy I felt. It was as if I was in heaven. The man of God came up there preaching the word and we started praying. I didn't know from somewhere tears started welling out of my eyes. I mean I started weeping like a baby. I had to start pinching myself that Femi boy it's you... I mean it's not just someone else. When the alter call came I found myself on my feet. Before I knew it I was before the alter. My wife and my friend who invited me could not hold back their tears. I've been into everything talking in terms of reading. I've read all kind of junk. I've practiced all kind of things. I was prayed for and a great peace descended upon me. There's no way I could describe it.

We left that place and when I got home I slept like I never slept before in my life. Since that day, brothers and sisters, God caused a turn around in my life. Up till that time I was in a partnership. A couple of days after my conversion we were praying in my house, when we received a vision that I had to leave my business partnership. I had been doing practically all the work, but I really had nothing to show for it. It was such a time that it wasn't really right to start a new business. Looking at it from the physical it wasn't really a good time. But it was the word of God maybe because I was still a baby in the Lord I believed. You know there are times you believe without really questioning.

Just to cut a long story short. A situation happened I had to inform the board of my company about my desire to leave. People were skeptical about the wisdom of such a move... I mean some of my colleagues were laughing because they knew I had no money. But God started a series of miracles in my finances. To let you know of the miracles of God, before the end of that year I was able to raise money without borrowing to pay for the present office in Lagos for four years. In the first year of my operation what four of us could do in three years, the Lord did it in one year.
God has not stopped with me. I became a full member of the Full Gospel Business Men's Fellowship International. I am currently membership secretary of the fellowship. I want to tell you what the Lord has been doing in my life. I mean I used to be an ulcer patient, and now completely cured by God. I have seen transformation of my life. My marriage was healed; if not for God I would not have any marriage today. I was sharing with my sister a couple of days back, that we go through some experiences in life, we think that we know it all. But one thing I know is that God has a plan for each and everyone of us. None of us comes into the world just to be anybody, God has a special role for you. My prayer for you this morning is that you find God's plan for your life. Nothing really matters. I have seen life transformed. There's power in the name of Jesus. I don't want to do anything else. I look at my whole life, what else do I give to God, nothing but thanks. Here I am, picked up from the pit. He has put a new song on my lips. I want to encourage everyone of us. I see my coming here today was not by accident. You know the Holy Spirit laid it on my heart as I entered in here that I would stand before you to speak. In little things such as what to eat today and where you are going to go today God is there to speak to you. I want us to bow down before this God. Let's seek Him with all our heart. You know He's a God who hasn't called us to come and serve Him for nothing, He has something for you. He wants to turn your life around. He wants to make things beautiful for you. Like our brother shared, I don't know what experience he was going through in 1993 there are so many things I skipped I was telling my sister 3 days ago I got to a point that year that if I could have taken my life I would have done it. The pressure was so much, I was in debt, my wife had a very difficult delivery, things were all just falling around me. But I thank one thing for Jesus that was in me I knew this was a test, I knew that this was fallow ground that had been broken, so I wasn't shaken. I know that God is prepared to do something in this place. I know this from God, when next year when I come here this place will be overflowing. This ministry will be empowered by the power of Jesus Christ. This ministry will grow not by the power of man but by the power of the Holy Spirit and we shall all be partakers of that blessing. Praise the LORD.

For 20 years as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, I believed I was serving the only true God. I believed he was active and working in my life. Being a Witness for Jehovah meant everything to me; I wanted so much to please God. At night I couldn't go to sleep until I prayed; thanking him for his creations, asking for forgiveness, and asking for guidance. When I prepared talks for the Ministry School, I asked for God's Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts, and I believed it did. I accepted the Jehovah's Witness teaching about their being two classes of people living in the Kingdom: 144,000 of the heavenly class, and millions of the earthly class. I looked forward to living forever on a paradise earth, but I was never sure whether I was doing enough to "make it into the Kingdom." Since the Watchtower Society teaches that the Bible is basically written for the 144,000, scriptures about being filled with the Holy Spirit and being "in Christ" (or even "in union with Christ" as the New World Translation puts it) did not apply to me.

Since I saw it as persecution, ridicule and teasing from schoolmates only proved to me all the more that I was in the right religion. Because of being teased, not only at school but also at home by my own father and two brothers, I had a very low esteem. Being older than my two brothers, I was held responsible for them. So, when they got in trouble, I was disciplined for it-something which I never thought was fair. I felt unloved, so I married at the first chance I got to get away from home.

Viewing marriage as God's arrangement, I took it very seriously but never felt it gave a man license to mistreat his wife. When I approached the elders for advice and counseling concerning my husband's abusive behavior, they told me they couldn't help unless he also came to them for help, even though he was a baptized Witness. After abuse was directed toward our daughter, I left the relationship. Even though I remained a Witness, I felt I was looked down on after I divorced. I felt a lot of rejection, which worsened my self esteem. But I continued to ask myself the same question so many other Witnesses ask themselves: Where else would I go? For years, I had suicidal thoughts, figuring no one cared. I thought that if I did die, I would just be resurrected after Armageddon. Staying alive for my daughter's sake was all that kept me from carrying it out. Since any of Jehovah's Witnesses who went to a "worldly" counselor were viewed as being spiritually weak, very few went for counseling but became very good at masking their feelings. I later remarried and struggled through another abusive relationship; often planning in my mind how I was going to kill myself, believing it was the only way out.

In 1982, while working at a health spa, I met two dear, sweet ladies who were always happy and talking about Jesus. I envied their joy of life and love for God. With my Witness background-and naturally being a skeptic-these ladies really had their work cut out for them. They guided me through my need for forgiveness and explained that the ransom sacrifice was paid for me too. They introduced me to the Jesus presented in Scripture. I learned it was important to serve the right Jesus, according to 2 Corinthians 11:3-4. I also learned that there was a difference between believing "about" Jesus and believing "in" Jesus. When I asked the elders to help me understand the Witness teaching about Jesus being Michael the archangel, they read the three scriptures in Daniel about Michael and then read 1 Thessalonians 4:16, which says "the Lord will descend from heaven with a commanding call, with an archangel's voice." That was it! That is what they based their entire doctrine on. When they could not prove it from Scripture, they became quite hostile because I had questioned them. (It's ironic that even though Witnesses tell others to examine their religion, they can't do it themselves.)

After weeks of debating and "making sure of all things," I turned my life over to Jesus and accepted Him as my personal Savior. When the elders found out I had been studying with born-again Christians, I was quickly disfellowshipped. Those who have been disfellowshipped know that I instantly lost ALL the Witness friends I had, and my immediate family also turned their backs on me. Unfortunately, after refuting just about everything I had believed for 20 years, telling me I had to believe certain doctrines to be saved, these two ladies basically abandoned me after I accepted Jesus. The rejection was unbearable. I felt so all alone; I still had so many questions.

Over the next 12 years, I struggled with what doctrines to believe and felt like I didn't fit anywhere. I was very critical and judgmental. I wasn't sure if I was serving the "right" Jesus, and I still had trouble applying scriptures to my own life because I still felt the Bible was written only for the anointed. I thought if I could understand doctrine correctly that maybe there was still a chance I could find favor with God. Because of my low self esteem, I struggled through several more abusive relationships. I felt I deserved to be punished. I felt like a failure, even as a mother. I began doubting whether God was involved with humans individually, feeling He just let us fend for ourselves. Since my prayers didn't seem to be answered, I drifted away from praying, not knowing who to pray to anymore. Life lost all meaning, and I thought I was beyond forgiveness. In May of 1994, I had a loaded .44 Magnum in my hand ready to put it to my head. The devil had every intention of killing me, but God had His hand of protection on me.

Shortly after that event, I dropped to my knees and cried out to Jesus for help. I began reading a book called The Bondage Breaker, by Neil Anderson. God used that book to open my eyes. At about the same time, I also began reading my Bible, beginning with the book of John. I still only felt comfortable reading the New World Translation, but even it was taking on new meaning. Several verses took on special meaning: "For God loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten Son, in order that everyone exercising faith in him might not be destroyed." (John 3:16) "For the Father judges no one at all, but he has committed all the judging to the Son, in order that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He that does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him." (John 5:22-23) I was familiar with these scriptures, but the concept of exercising faith in and honoring Jesus was new to me. But it was right there in the New World Translation. Then I read John 5:39-40, which says, "You are searching the Scriptures, because you think that by means of them, you will have everlasting life; and these are the very ones that bear witness about me. And yet you do not want to come to me that you may have life." I felt God was speaking directly to me; that's what I had been doing-trying to understand doctrine as a means to an end in itself. Then I read John 10:16, "And I have other sheep, which are not of this fold, those also I must bring, and they will listen to my voice, and they will become one flock." This scripture was saying there would only be one flock, not two. I began to understand God's love and His purpose for creating all of us.

As I continued reading the New World Translation, I saw so many new things. Romans 8:28 became very real to me. What the devil meant for evil, God used for good. I began seeing how God allows certain things in our lives, not to show Him how we would respond (He already knows that), but to show us where we need to grow. Satan's main objective is to take away our joy and put doubts in our mind. The only power he has is in the lie. He uses accusation, temptation, and deception in an attempt to deceive us into believing his lies. Truth is the liberating agent. I've learned how to dismiss negative thoughts, realizing the source, and knowing that the devil has already been defeated. I've found joy in life, and I no longer have suicidal thoughts! Jesus is now my reason for living.
I've also learned that Satan puts up denominational walls. He loves to cause strife among Christians. We may not all have the exact same doctrine, but we have a common heritage. Yes, it is important that we serve the right Jesus, but we make salvation complicated. Before questioning and debating about any doctrine, ask yourself whether it is essential for salvation. We can concern ourselves so much with refuting doctrines that we forget the basics of sharing Christ's love and encouraging and building each other up. After sharing the need for accepting Christ's ransom and the impact He has on our lives, how about addressing such issues as suicidal thoughts, loneliness, fear, doubt, and depression. God's people are hurting. Instruct them on how to put on the armor of God and take up the Sword of the Spirit to ward off the devil's deceptions.

I finally began to see there was nothing I could do to earn God's favor. Even if we obeyed all of God's commands, our lives would be as filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6) All I could do to earn God's favor has already been done. It is only through the sacrifice of Jesus that we can approach God's throne and find the favor of God. Though sometimes we may not feel forgiven, I have learned to take God at His Word. It's a matter of choosing truth in the face of every lie.

Being a Christian is more than just "being in church every time the door is open," it is a matter of trusting God for everything in your life, making Jesus Lord of your life, and doing all things for His glory. Sometimes this just means being a friend to someone and ministering to their needs-whether that means cleaning their house, giving them a ride to the doctor, picking up their groceries, or spending time with them on a lonely evening. Be an instrument for God's love to flow through you.

Today, I realize that all religion is imperfect human's attempt to worship a perfect God. I'm so glad God is not going to kick me out of His family because I don't have all the answers. Prayer is again an important part of my life. Not only is it communication with a loving God who created us for fellowship with Himself, it is my "life line."

There is a lot I could be bitter about, and I used to be. But bitterness is bondage and Jesus has set me free! God does not allow anymore than what we can bear, and He knows what it takes to get through to some of us. Things happen for a purpose. I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. One promise that has really strengthened me is, "He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it."

Jesus felt we were worth dying for, so He is worth living for!
Hello my name is Thomas Patterson, I was brought up in a Christian home, my mother had a great influence on my life she was born again and committed to Jesus. My Mother went home to be with the Lord 2 years ago. My Mother sent me to church twice on a Sunday, as well as this I attended the boys brigade so I guess I always knew that Jesus Christ died on a cross for me. At the age of fifteen I left school and started work. During this time I continued to attend church on Sunday morning, basically just to please my Mother. My big aim in life was to be a disc jockey, so I decided that I didn't have any time for God. My childhood dream was fulfilled and for ten years I travelled the country as a disc jockey performing at many discos and clubs.

Around 4 years ago or there abouts I was asked to go to a Christian bible study in a place called Bangor. I remember very clearly the preacher asking the question what would happen if you were to die tonight without Christ. The Holy Spirit really began to work on me and all I thought about that night was the fact that if I died without knowing Jesus personally I was going to end up in hell. The following day I put these thoughts to the back of my mind and went of to work. My friend David Orr said that he was always praying for me as he knew that I was under conviction. His prayers were answered for one night after again attending the Bible study I could take it no more while lying on my bed unable to sleep the Holy Spirit spoke to me again concerning the state of my soul and I got up out of bed and onto my knees and asked Jesus to save me.

He did on the 22nd of April 1993, I did go a little cold for a while but now I am amongst friends in the Elim Christian Centre serving Jesus. My prayer for you reading this simple testimony friend is that you to will come to know Jesus Christ in a personal way. God Bless.

Hello my name is Carleen Patterson, and I would like to publicly thank the Lord Jesus for what He has done for me. I was always encouraged by my parents to go to church, at the tender age of four I began to attend Sunday school, then I joined the Girls Brigade as well as the Christian Endeavor Movement. I was conscious of the fact when I entered my teen age years that if I ever wanted to make it to heaven then I needed to be Saved. But as was and still is common amongst most young people I continually delayed making a decision for Jesus.

After the sudden death of my father and a few other different family situations, I realised that my life was at a crossroads, surely there had to be more to life than discos and pubs, and all that came with them. In all these things I found no happiness, I guess that at this time I was under conviction of sin. One night a friend of mine who happened to be a Christian invited me to come round to her house and talk to a Christian counselor, I accepted that invitation and it turned out to be the best move that I have ever made, everything that he had to say made sense and applied to my situation. So that night on the 22nd of June 1993 I asked the Lord Jesus Christ into my life, that night I repented of my sin and gave my life over to Him. Friend I have never been so happy in all my life. Whatever your situation you now find yourself facing, let me say to you that Jesus is the answer.