I am writing my testimony, not as a testament to what I have gone through and accomplished, but as a testament to what God has done in my life and the glorious power He has to work miracles in each of our lives. I was saved at a young age and received the Holy Spirit when I was about twelve years old. Although I wasn't a perfect kid by any means, I tried to do what was right and let the Lord guide my soul so that my will would be molded to follow His.

I went to a Christian high school my Sophomore and Junior years. Mostly because my mother was afraid of my being influenced by the kids who went to public school, but it did do me some good. At the beginning of my Junior year I was out riding my off-road motorcycle in a field not far from my house when it broke down. I pushed it up to an old general store where the store keeper told me he would keep an eye on it while I went to get my truck. When I got back he helped me put it in the truck. We then started talking and the next thing I know he had slipped me some kind of drugs that made my mind spin and magnified all of my fears and emotions. He had gotten me in a storage shed behind the store and started fondling me and trying to make me do things with him.

With the help of God I was able to keep my piece of mind long enough to figure out how to get away but it left permanent scars. My heart and soul turned dark and I became lost to the world. At first I wanted to take revenge against him. But the Lord saved me from that fate by taking away my memory of what the man looked like. Because of the stigma, and the fear of hurting others, I was unable to tell anyone about it. The pain kept building up inside. I couldn't remember what the man looked like so I became leery of everyone I met. The pain was so intense that God finally spared me by taking away my ability to feel the pain and anger within. Unfortunately, with the loss of pain and anger went the ability to Love, rejoice and fellowship. I had always wanted to get married and raise a family but I was unable to get close to anyone or allow anyone to get close to me.

When I prayed to God He told me that He would not leave me. Even though I could no longer feel His Spirit working within me, I knew that He was there. He told me that He had great things planned for me if I would only follow Him. He told me that I would be dead for a while but that I would one day rise up and be healed, that all I wanted would be made available to me, and that my healing would be a blessing to others and help them. Although I could not feel him working in me, he still guided my heart and made me want to do things I would never have thought of otherwise. As I was dead to my own desires it was easy to follow his guidance. He provided a feint light for me at the end of a long dark passage. This light, as feint as it was, was enough to give me the strength to carry on and guide me out of the darkness. It has been almost seventeen years now and I am finally emerging to praise His name.

It is still difficult. Having to deal with my emotions for the first time in so long brings new challenges every day. My own will is emerging again and making it difficult to follow the guidance of God's Holy Spirit. But with prayer and fellowship, the presence of the Sprit of the Lord can be strengthened within my heart and overcome the temptations of the flesh. God has worked many miracles in my life. His invisible hand has guided events to help me more times than I can count. Everything positive that has ever happened to me has been because of the almighty hand of God. The Devil can no longer hold me down. I will be victorious! Or rather, God will be victorious through me.