My parents did a great job in raising us, (my two sisters and myself) so I couldn't blame them. Both of my parents encouraged us to go to Sunday school and church, in fact they took us there themselves. My father was chairman of the trustee board for many years. He was a Sunday school teacher and sang in the Male Chorus at church. My mum was diligent in teaching us at home about right and wrong, and the importance of biblical principles being applied to our lives. Additionally, they seemed to have a great marriage, my dad modelled being a caring husband and my mum was a loving wife to him. I did extremely well in both elementary and high school, and my parents encouraged me. However, when it came to spiritual things I never got any answers to questions that were important to me.

You see, as a young African-American in the late 1960's, I really wondered if the GOD my parents served was just and righteous as HE claimed to be. The stories told to me by my grandfather and father or white injustice and mistreatment of "the Negro" became vivid pictures of GOD's obvious disinterest. The graphic television displays of extreme violence to peaceful marchers, convinced me of the bankruptcy of those white people who called themselves "Christian" and would maim or kill others for even complaining about being treated as second class citizens.
My solution for all of this was to fight back. My thoughts were, "Why were we just sitting there while fire hoses and dogs were let loose on us?" "Don't the leaders of the black civil rights movement see that this is getting us nowhere?" "Even in the Bible it said somewhere "eye for an eye", we need to get these guys back for 200 years of murders, rapes and indignity." With these thoughts in mind, I went to Howard University in Washington DC., the hotbed of the new developing "black power" movement.

Howard University opened up a whole new vista of ideas and thoughts. Most of them new to me, in fact if I had have even talked about some of them at home, I would have been thrown out of the house. One important thing to me was that I was finally getting a real answer to my religious questions, but, from a strange source-my zoology class. I had always been intrigued by the concept of evolution, but I could never figure out how Adam and Eve, and the Neanderthal Man fitted together. Whenever I asked anyone at home or church that question, they either didn't know, or most of the time they would ignore me altogether.

Evolution boldly proclaimed that GOD did not exist. We all came to be humans, according to the theory, through the slow gradual change of lower forms of life. You see, in my mind, if GOD was not the creator, then all the stuff and stories in the Bible MUST be just mythology, superstition, or perhaps it could be, (as some of my associates declared), a clever tool used by white people, to help mentally enslave black people. Black nationalism, the concept that black people in America should have their own nation in America, became the only reasonable goal, in my eyes, for black people. Having been freed from the concept of any reprisals or punishments from GOD, achieving this by any means necessary was the way to go.

While at Howard I was involved in a couple of demonstrations, but my most enduring memory was the riots of April 8, 1968, after the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. It was at that time that GOD began HIS process of proving HIS power to me. On that warm night in DC. I found myself adrift in the spirit of chaos. Fires, gunshots, and total disorder reigned supreme. The police, in trying to regain order, beat anyone near them, while some citizens jumped on them in retaliation. Everyone was stealing, including me, from shops and stores which had just a few hours ago had beautiful displays. As I felt the push of the paddy wagon that sideswiped me I dropped the clothes that were in my hand. I found myself pinned between the alley wall and the police paddy wagon. My friend who was with me was being beaten by two large white police officers. As I watched the secretary type up the charges against me, I felt I had sorely underestimated the power of the police. I was still very sore from the rough treatment we had received. However their racial slurs and profanities against blacks during our arrest, assured me that part of the rough treatment was indicative of their hatred for me and my people.

The next three days were filled with profound experiences for me. Howard University had sent over a officer to free all of us from jail. Due to an oversight, I was left in the jail. A bus transferring hardened criminals from one prison to another broke down and they had to be temporarily held in the same holding area I was being held. I watched as they tried to sexually assault one of the individuals in the holding area with me. Fortunately, they were forcibly stopped by the marshal before anything actually happened, but just the thought of it BLEW MY MIND.

I was finally isolated away from everybody else and it seemed I had no way out. Well, I couldn't think of anything else and thought, "You know, I know what my folks would say now, You better call on GOD boy." "How can I call on some one who doesn't exist?" "Well I'll give it a shot -- GOD if you are real, show me so by getting me out of this place. And if you do I won't do this thing (stealing) anymore. Approximately an hour and a half later, as I looked out of the cell bars, a well dressed gentleman approached me asking, "What are you in jail for?" and "How long have you been in there?" I asked him, "Who are you?" He stated that he was a law student and had been seeing if those jailed during the riots were getting legal counsel. I quickly told him that I needed counsel badly. I told him my name and he went to check out the charges against me. About an hour later, he returned and excitedly stated, "Look, they have your name on a sheet but there are NO charges listed under your name. They are not supposed to hold you more than 24 hours without charges. You know you might have grounds for a law suit against the city." My response was "Look man all I want to do is get out of here." They quickly prepared to take me before the judge. His first question was, "Mr. Garvin, how did you get into this jail?" Before I could lie, my counsel told me I didn't have to tell him anything. So I said nothing. With that, the judge declared," Mr. Garvin, I don't know how you got here but your name has been ringing around this courtroom all this morning, if your name ever comes up again in my courtroom I will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. Case dismissed."

As I rode back to the dormitory I thought, "How in the world did I get out of that with no charges, no police record, no nothing! Was it really an answer to my prayer or was it coincidence? If it was really GOD what about my promise? Well anyway, let me put this GOD stuff out of my mind for now and just enjoy being out of that jail." You know, I did just that, in fact, as the days past I just forgot about GOD and what he had done for me. Although now I was not so quick to say there was no GOD, only that He has little to do with our lives today. GOD was for emotional women who needed a reason to shout in church, relieving their frustrations. The black problem in America still existed and it needed cold calculating solutions to solve it.

YOU SEE, I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW GOD, BUT HE WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE ALL THAT.

The miracle of the deliverance from the jail cell, changed my thinking about God. You see, I now figured that God must be out there somewhere, but He really didn't have any impact on your everyday life; in an extreme emergency, maybe He would listen. At any rate, I didn't know--so I guess I classified myself as an agnostic.

Two years after the jail incident, Bev and I had decided to marry. I couldn't wait to see her daily, so I made sure my schedule included time to pick her up fro the South Shore train station at 6:30 p.m. I usually would arrive about a half hour early and would turn on the local radio station which played rhythm and blues at 6:30 p.m. While waiting for my programs to come on, a new show came on the station talking about the Bible and evolution. My ears pricked up, to my surprise this program presented some sane arguments against evolution. They showed the impossibility of design without a designer, the errors of science in evolutionary reasoning, and even showed by examples why it was impossible for the universe & earth to be as old as many scientist claim. I found myself listening regularly for about three weeks. However, as time past, their white conservative agenda began to Turn Me Off. I began to conclude that although they had some good answers, they were still using religion to enforce the white system of injustice. In my mind, anything supporting White America was inherently against Black people. I knew that White America hated my guts, and the feeling was mutual!
After Bev and I married I began to get to know Bev's brother Charles Beavers better. Beavers had been a Sergeant in the Marines during the early years of the Vietnam Conflict. His experiences with whites in warfare and racism had hardened his attitudes against racial integration. His suggestions of bringing terrorism against white areas here in the USA was music to my ears. Here was a man trained by the government as a specialist in jungle warfare; why couldn't we take those principles to our asphalt jungles and disrupt this system so much that black revolution could possibly result.

Beavers even knew others who had similar training right where we lived. All we had to do is get weapons and ammunition. I believed, through my college connections, I knew of people who had knowledge of how to get some weapons. Additionally I had access through my job, to order the necessary chemicals and apparatus to make pipe bombs and other incendiary devices. man, I really believed we could do this!

We began our training--we established our initial targets, laid out our escape routes and entry ways. Beavers trained me in techniques in quietly getting in an out of an area without being noticed. Our plans included disrupting travel routes and planting incendiary bombs in white business areas and getting out before they went off.

We all held respectable jobs in the community. Therefore, as long as we continued to work and look harmless we had a cover. We wanted it secret, so we didn't even tell our wives what our plans were.

When it seemed we were just about ready to get started, Beavers came by my house dressed strangely--in fact he looked like something out of the Arabian nights novel. I hadn't seen him for about two weeks and wondered where he had been. It seemed that he had run into a group of black people that believed the America black people were actually the descendants of the Israeli people of the Bible. We had reaped the result of our sins as depicted in the Book of Deuteronomy. That explained (at least to him) the depression, poverty and economic stagnation that characterized many urban black communities. It was God's curse on a disobedient people.

My reaction was utter amazement! I reminded him of how we had both concluded that the Bible was written by the White Man to mentally, morally and economically enslave Black people by the "Turn the other cheek" philosophy. It was the chief reason that the majority of black people were willing to sit by in peace with the white enemy, while we should be in a state of perpetual war. Even though my thoughts were racing, I was able to control myself enough to say, "Are you trying to say you believe this?" He said, "Yes I do, in fact I want to show you where this can be found!" My pride immediately stopped me from even considering it. However, seeing that our well laid plans of revolution were going out the door, I said "Look, I'm going to read it myself--give me a few weeks, I believe I can show you that that's not the way to go". So he left, immediately I resolved "Well I've got to go buy a Bible!"
That very evening my study began. I read through the first six chapters of Genesis and was surprised at how the narrative was extremely interesting, in fact it was downright entertaining. As I completed the reading for the night, I thought, "I must admit this is good reading, but it's all mythology." Suddenly the thought came to me that said, "Suppose THIS IS TRUE!"

As I continued to read, I couldn't shake the thought of "Suppose this is true!" I finally read until I got to the Book of Exodus, chapter 20, where the ten commandments were given. The 2nd commandment read, "Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless, who takes His Name in vain." I could not continue to read. I became totally convicted--after all my mouth had been full of profanity and blasphemy. I thought maybe if I go to another section of the Bible, perhaps I would feel better, so by chance I turned to the Book of Isaiah.

Well, it didn't get much better, Isaiah 7:16 talked about "Cease to do evil, Learn to do good." But what really caught my attention was Isaiah 1:18-20 "Come now, and let us reason together, though your sins are like scarlet, thy will be white as snow, though they are like crimson they shall be as wool. If you are willing and obedient you will eat the Good of the land, but if you refuse and rebel you shall be devoured by the sword for the Mouth of the Lord has spoken it." It seemed as if it was Talking Directly to Me!

I couldn't stand it any longer, things from the past came to my mind--my parents statements about God, the evolution radio program, the deliverance from jail. Tremendous conviction overwhelmed me so I laid prostrate on the floor and stated "God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, if you are the True God, deal with me, show me the right way. I felt a release, but also an insatiable desire to read more of the Bible.
My brother-in law came back after about a month, and all I could say was, "Well, it looks like you were right about the Bible." I then assumed that he knew more about the Bible than I did and believed him when he said, "Well you know you need to prepare yourself to go to Israel, so you can live in the Land."

I was now sure that I must do whatever the Bible said, and dutifully informed my wife of our destination. She Blew UP! (As well you can imagine) However, I was intent on making up for all the wrong I had done against God, so I declared, in spite of her tears, that we were going anyway -- BUT GOD WAS STILL IN THE PICTURE.

I continued to read, absorbing the Old Testament like a sponge. I finally got to the New Testament and "Lo and Behold", I truly found the Messiah. In my opinion, anyone with common sense could see from the gospels that Jesus was the Messiah. He fulfilled all the scriptures about the Messiah that I had recently read. In the Book of Acts I saw this small band of believers become empowered by God--I wanted that!

The New Testament had a great influence in reducing the Black Hebrew prospective in my view of the scriptures. In addition, God had been working with other members of my family. My sister had come in contact with an Evangelist and had received Christ. upon her hearing about my change in thinking and talking about God wanting my family to go to Israel, she invited Beverly and I to several meeting. In one of those meetings the preacher asked for those who really wanted God to rule their lives, to come down. I went forward and confessed with my mouth Jesus as Lord and believed with all my heart that He was the living God. That was the day I received Christ as my Savior. After I returned to my seat the thought thundered in my heart, "You don't have to HATE anymore." Suddenly it felt like a ton of bricks just fell of me. Man, I felt freed! Hallelujah!

That was over twenty-two years ago, and the Lord had kept me, delivered me and held me close to His bosom ever since.

Perhaps God is dealing with you as He did with me. Maybe He has been drawing you to Himself by degrees and now it is time to make your total commitment to HIM. Today, Yes, even right now, Please pray with me:
"Lord, forgive me for my sins, come into My life and change me into a true child of God. I confess Jesus as both Lord and Savior of My life and I know HE is alive forevermore.
In Jesus' Name I Pray - Amen."