DRUGS

my name is Chris.
since i have been set free of my old life i have actually had a chance to find out who that person really is.

see a lot of us are leading very satanic lives, especially when we think we are doing good and being Good. that’s just something we all need to know.

being where i am now i now know that God took me under his wing a long time ago when i was very young. my mother used to take me to church when i was little, apparently when people called for deliverance i went up and thats the way it went.
i feel like i may have been like all kids in Jesus, they are very humble and innocent. God is all that u know.

if someone asked a question or whatever i would just say God. quite aye. :)
problems start from the moment church was taken from our life. i grew up an only child and with no real relationship with my father. i had a good loving family but God was that void when i was little. My mum left blaspheming church as lies and took me with her down her road of death. she was a drunk and still is.
i prey she will be delivered from her past and her emotions that she can no longer handle.

my story takes a turn for the worst, maybe to start with late high school years i started drinking and that just grew and grew for many years. my mum was a drinking partner, so there was no one saying it's not Good. i had forgotten about God and couldn’t care less.

i continued schooling and went to college, i was an enthusiastic artist. but all those years God never told me to paint so now i wait and will see if that’s what he has in store for me.

during college i started smoking pot. this was the real beginning of trouble in the spirit. it was the gateway, and i was a thinker, well i realized i was a thinker.
man i was a judger and a laugher and blind as all buggery in doing so. i did this for a short time until someone started telling me about other drugs, so a few months into becoming a stoner as you may call it. i had an experience with Trip.

(u could almost give that word a name to a demon) i found myself in hospital with my friend because we were naive and didn’t know limits or understand that its not a toy and can kill you. after that i smoked pot really heavy for a year or so and never wanted to go near hard drugs again. both me and my friend were scared off. later i got driven into a feeling of i had to go back in and find the truth out about what was going on. i was tricked again. from here on the story’s are long and go on forever, a life that is only lived by ways of death. i lead an experimental path for a few years and in a strange way was dependant on a new experience, i was searching through all these thing for something.

but for the Glory of God was within. let me say that all the voids within, it is a void that ONLY the Lord can fill, he created it and he has the key to fit it. and his key is eternal. once you find it u only have to keep in touch and it doesn’t ware off. only u wear off.

during one of my moments i was with friend and we stoped somewhere and i felt the urge to go and talk to a stranger down at the beach by herself. near the sk8park. i was high and drunk and i started heading down really trippin out on the fact that i am walking down there, the whole way it was like one part was going what on earth are you doing man and the other was ohh well just go see what happens. i greeted her and asked what she was doing and she told me she was preying (as if i wasn’t spinning out enough) what for, "this". anyway she told me i was the prince of God and there is still hope.

i went to church that she invited me 2 but i was to wrapped up in myself to understand, what that moment was all about. why it was so beautiful. it was because Jesus had a message for me. Thank you Jesus.

well i went on got kicked out of home still into tryin new substances, whatever. moved out and went to uni art school and straight away i was amidst people doin the same thing as me with there lives. so i thought that was cool, and i managed to make another series of mistakes. wrapped up in sex, drugs and art 'n' roll.
c things get crazy. i got kicked out of a place and at the last minute someone asked me to come 2 church so i did. i was blessed that someone at the church that night had a room for rent. lol. tus my now spiritual filled mind was to come up to an opponent to the Lord. i sounded like a typical egoless tripper. all about oneness with the universe. but deep down i have these experiences that connect to the devil himself. when God says deeper truths-depths of Satan really. he aint lying, he never lies.

one time on something i was with a couple of girls one just had to smoke pot an the other was on an upper. we got stoned. u know the music tv visual simulators. i felt like i guided them into the doors of perception, all the visuals were doors opening into spirits and demons, death was focused, the girls were fine as long as i stayed fine, i had seen things like it before, but i just laid off the hows and whys about that one. i guess i knew where it would go. its a bad place.
everything contains truth, do u believe there is a word called lie. then even the word lie contains truth.

i would like to share with people the deepthst that i know about that satan is at, but it will go on for 2 long, he is eternal just like us. we should choose not to dwell on him but focus on the path to eternal life, not suffering. all the place i had been in my mind through substance abuse i could never imagine that God was able to do better.

but then God is beyond our imaginations aye.

this is what it's all about. his Mercy. i could never prove my apponent a lier or a delusionalist, in his words he spoke about Jesus as truth, but i tried, used every once of teaching (that was really just the devils whispers) to pull him from his position and thus justify everything i did was ok. no good! this went on for a good year mind you. i was sure i was gunna find the truth in some drug some time. some universal truth that everyone had to agree on. :P how stupid i was i would go on about a conversation i had with a tree, or the intricate pattens in my mind that describe in a mandala fashion everything that was going on inside me and around me. or entitys. we hear of satans deception as an angel of light. anywayz i left where i was got in more trouble blah blah and found my self unstuke, in a moment with no meaning. that all i knew was a gap filler but wasn’t sealed and during that time the water of life had Gotten through. Gods word on my last trip, destroyed me, i was in complete insanity, i was preying my heart out to God and he caught me out in my cleverness and i was identified as truly lost. that my life was death, i felt death heavy on me. not like any other time but knew that i was a gonner. i preyed very hard to God for life. you see i was already dead. I need life because he showed me that i did not have it.

a week later i some how wound up back with the Christian house hold. thank God.
it has been real hard since i have gotten back here. i Love Jesus soooo much. he is all i have now. he is my hope.
i have faith in that hope, and he shows me love. he actually lets me see and feel the world as he does sometimes. it hurts, i could not do what he does, he deserves ALL the glory for his sacrifice.

perhaps the greatest thing is that i can say suked in Satan. :) cause God now uses what satan showed for good. it wasn’t hard to loose material things. to burn all that belonged to who i used to be. to repent for all i thought i was.
to get down on my knees and worship. and then the greatest thing happened. one night he did it. :) he took me somewhere better. i couldnt sleep, i preyed a lot. was receiving passages of scripture to read and i havent read a lot of the bible yet but i am getting there. those with the knowledge should understand that the bible doesnt give you God, only helps you find him. and then to learn about our history.

but that night i was forced against the bed and had the HUGEST smile come on my face. tears of ABSOLUTE joy flowed like rivers down a mountain. see i had been preying for wisdom of the Father Son and spirit as one. he answered me.
as i lay there it was like the three of them had presence in front of my just above me, it was like the spirit was hovering there and it was like three beings and it unified right b4 my eyes though i could see nothing, then even better it went inside.
this presence went from above straight inside me. it was the GREATEST FEELING! NOTHING compares to our God. words dont express this only try.
i asked another time to help me understand or show me because i do not understand our oneness in his Body.

see we are not universal that is a worldy deception of The devil, in the end matter is taken away. we are spiritual.

but i was humbled one night just siting in my room after i had cleaned it of all that that i thought was me, everything that i knew God never gave me. man our rooms are like a playground for the devil. or mine was. what should i do now. i will do
blah blah and thus i am not doing thing for God. but i was just sittin near my computer listening to music, and it was time for the next peace of God. he walked in. i felt his presence like a man come in but i wasnt startled at all, it was the big mega grin that came on my face. ohhhhhh... God is so good, have i mentioned that. he sat on the edge of my bed i think but he was fulfilling my prayer about our oneness in his body. my attention went to this musician playing, who was singing abut Jesus u are my friend, i immediately thought man that would be weird having some guy talk about you like that in a song. still with God smiling and i realized this guy though his voice was coming through my speakers i was completely with him, i already understood my oneness in Christ's body so he allowed me to feel this person singing in my speakers to be in his body. how crazy is that!!! how limitless is God in his ways. and he made me tear when i felt the love.

because i had feelings from his heart how Jesus himself feels right then. He is SOOO happy when he hears a person singing such lyrics of "Jesus you are my best friend" in this place that we live and what happens it is such a miracle for anyone to be singing such words. He is fully pleased, it makes him happy. but this was far beyond any high i had ever been. its after those moments you prey for the end of time to come upon believe me. we are so heavily burdened.
its when God takes you to these places that when you come back to the way it is in Faith, the devil is so present.

i looked out my view over the city when he sowed me this stuff and it hits hard. The way of the Devil, that is ANY way that isn’t of God is ONLY ever going to lead to sorrow, madness, sadness and eventualy death. there is no permanent happiness,
nothing will last forever. the good an bad of a sinner here should all be concidered Great becaue whats to come is only torment. i am sorry. dont mean to be the bearer of Bad news, but God is real.
the most hurtful thing is people who believe in him but dont obey what he asks. they are out of faith. why would you do anything else, through him you will actually be happy?! its like u actually want to be angry and lost... please turn to God in ALL your ways, these ways are to be obeyed by those who will receive eternal life.

no one has exceptions, be sure when u think u will go to heaven that you have grounds to back that up with.
he loves all, but we aint all gunna b there. in everything you do, at least what u know of him stop and think if God was here right now next to me would i do what i am about to do or am doing. be accountable to God and no one else. i now dont smoke, dont gamble dont take drugs dont drink i am nice, i have been learning to love, becaus until you now his heat ur only lying when you say this i s love. no one can think they love someone more than another for God made us equal, he mad love unmeasurable so we wouldnt judge each others love. how could someone love another person if they keep thinking that blah blah could never love that person like me.
the way you love your wife should bear the same value through the heart of the Lord as your love for anyone especially if they are in faith of Jesus. u should also know how to hate the enemy, by asking God to show you how he is REALLY hurting people. you should hurt. i dont mean to preach but God has blessed me. i now see the depths of God against that of the devil. i tell you. I HATE THE DEVIL!.
i once asked God if the devil fell down and repented from his heart what would you do? and The Holy Ghost just spoke,
"i would take his hand" and it was so powerful, that is an example of how much love this man Jesus has.

i will go n forever if i get the chance that is a dramatic change and people just need God. but God will find you if you are his people, if you fel God on your mind or heart then dont waste anytime i prey that what i experience will be plentiful, to all those who want to know him, u will fall in love, when he starts revealing himself.

God bless all if you want to talk to me i am just a normal dude who wants to share God with all and would love to hear from people and answer questions or help with their search for God. i do it because he is our saviour and he is just so good, but i want to warn you. this is no JOKE!
love is eternal.

Chris
chrispog@gmail.com