ABUSE

My name is Vicki, born in Pennsylvania in September, 1968. In my short life I had endured quite a bit of abuse; I had been raped by a male acquaintance of my mother's at age 5, then verbally, physically and sexually abused by my older brother from ages 7 to 17, and raped twice by an uncle at age 19.
As a result of the sexual abuse and violence that occurred, it led me into a path of destructive behavior and a life of utter confusion and feelings of inadequacy.

I firmly believe that due to the abuse and sexual violence endured, it resulted in me dealing with many problems and psychiatric issues.
From an early age I struggled with feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, anger and hatred toward men. As a child I was in therapy, a bed-wetter, was attracted to girls, had strong desires to be a boy and often dressed as a boy. As I entered my teen years, which were very difficult, I endured a sexual identity crisis, dealt with self-destructive behavior, developed anorexia and bulimia, was an alcoholic, dabbled in drugs, was in and out of therapy and entered the Marines.

By early adulthood I continued therapy, was causing self-inflicted injuries on my body as a way of coping, in and out of Eating Disorder Units and psychiatric hospitals, dealt with suicidal tendencies, bouted with numerous suicide attempts, was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance, clinical depression and Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP).

By age 25 I had self-injured my body by cutting and burning (1, 5" scar & 1, 4" scar from 3rd degree burns & over 250 scars from cutting). I had been involved in various relationships (dysfunctional, abusive, one night stands), led a homosexual lifestyle, was in a gang, had an abortion, claimed bankruptcy due to high medical bills, was on psychotherapeutic medication (17 pills daily), had battled with mental illness and was in and out of psychiatric hospitals.

As I approached 27, I was dependent on psychotherapeutic medications, totally exasperated and felt as though I was just existing and taking up space. I was at a point in my life that although I doubted anything could be better, I was looking for my life to change.
Although I thought I had tried everything possible to get better, somehow I was still open for help. It seemed that whatever I tried that it was only good for a few hours, a day, sometimes if I got "lucky" it lasted a couple days.

I was not brought up around church or anything godly. Although I doubted a lot of things about God, one Sunday in March of 1995 I was invited to church and reluctantly went. It was my first time going to a church in over 15 years, and this was no church like I had ever been to. From the moment I stepped through the doors, I sensed something different.

When I walked into that church in New Jersey I remember sensing such love and peace. (I honestly thought it would be over once I left). I wasn’t quite sure what my beliefs were, mainly Agnostic, as I spent most of my life blaming God or questioning Him why all this happened to me. I was at a point of my life where I was not ready to be let down again.

All I knew was that when I walked into that church, I felt great and didn’t remember feeling so much peace like that before. And I knew it was real. No medication made me feel this alert and alive, I knew it just had to be real.

I wanted so much to be normal but had no clue how to do it, as everything else I tried proved a failure. After going to that church I asked God to make himself real to me. Within days I noticed that I was more peaceful, able to think clearly and the negative desires I had were not so strong. Even though to an outsider that would seem so small of a change, however, for me it was a big thing just to see a change, at that moment I knew that God was real!

A few weeks later, I bought a Bible and it opened right up to the book of Mark, and I began reading in chapter 5. As I read, I saw that a guy who had cut himself day and night and appeared to have mental illness; he was healed by Jesus. I became very agitated with God and threw the Bible to the floor. I just didn’t understand why I wasn’t well; if he had healed this guy so long ago.

I began to yell at God: “!@#* you God, if you are real, then why the hell can’t you help me? Why can’t you do for me what you did years ago for that guy? I’m tired so tired of this !@#*, and tired of living this way. Don’t you understand that I’m tired of crying all night long, cutting and drinking because I cannot cope? Life isn’t supposed to be this way. I don’t want mental illness. Please help me.”
I do realize now that swearing to God may not have been the best thing, but at that time I wasn’t accustomed to talking with Him and tried my best to be nice. After saying this, I pleaded with God, I truly petitioned him for his help.

I figured my last resort was this God who I wasn’t even so sure about. I put all my doubts aside and immediately I began to pray to God, actually I challenged him that I wanted answers and that I would give him 3 weeks to “prove himself” to me. Even though I wasn’t sure if I believed in God, I thought it would be a good idea if I at least put my efforts into it. I wanted my life to change and was looking for a difference.

I figured that I had done everything possible that I guess I could at least give God a chance. It seemed as if nothing else had worked, but I have never thought of including God because I mainly blamed God, part of me thought that what happened to me was His fault. Additionally, part of me wasn’t convinced that he even existed. I wasn’t sure what I believed in, not even certain about God.
Ever since I "challenged" God, my life turned around completely and has never been the same! I “officially” accepted Jesus into my life in April, 1995 during a church meeting. What happened over the next 1 1/2 years was absolutely breathtaking!

With the love and mercy of God I learned to cope with the past and look forward to the future; there is hope and there is a better way of life. I learned that I don’t have to live my future based on my past. I am not sure why all that happened to me, but I do know that what was meant for bad is now being turned around for good.

I have forgiven all the people that have hurt and abused me. And, I have completely healed, recovered and overcome in every area! I was married to a wonderful Christian man in April, 1999. My life has taken a 360 degree turn and amazed at what God does!
It is my hopes that every person will come to the realization that they can overcome anything in their life, as nothing is hopeless!
Whatever a person has gone through or may be facing right now, they can get through it just like I did and lead a normal healthy life as God intended for them!

I know God will heal anyone, anytime of anything.
God will heal your mind and body, He will change you; He is just a prayer away.
Vicki

www.endallthepain.com

Secure in My Feminine Identity 

I grew up as a classic tomboy, mostly playing cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers. When I was about four-years old, an event happened which profoundly shook my inner security. A teenage boy approached me sexually, and then warned me not to tell my parents. I never said a word; fearful that we'd both get into big trouble. This silence left me to reap a lot of self-inflicted pain, and the whole incident only reinforced my tomboy image. I didn't feel protected or valued as a girl.
I also craved special affirmation as a girl from my dad, but couldn't tell him why. For years I believed lies about God, men and myself. The sexual experience (when I was four) kept me from embracing femininity, which, to me, meant being weak and vulnerable.
Then I found myself having crushes on some of my girlfriends. I was talented in athletics, so I joined the softball team in high school, but continued to avoid most feminine activities. I didn't feel pretty or lovable.
At church, the youth group seemed shallow. I felt disappointed that everyone behaved just like the non-Christian kids at school, and I became disillusioned. Soon I discarded church altogether, and began getting into wild behaviour: drinking, dating three boys at one time, and eventually exploring homosexual relationships.
Then I went to college and met Sara. She seemed so confident and strong as a woman. Men adored her, but they only seemed to ridicule and use me. It was then, in early 1982, I realized my feelings for Sara were sexual. So I decided to look up an old boyfriend to "test" my orientation. Although he was a nice guy, I felt no attraction to him. After that, I decided to pursue my attractions for women. At the suggestion of a gay counsellor, I joined the college gay/lesbian group.
During one of those meetings, I had a piercing thought, "There really is something wrong with this lifestyle." I was heartbroken by the words that shattered my dreams of finding happiness with a female life- partner. After the meeting, I went home and cried. "God," I prayed, "please show me who you are, and fill the void in my heart."

After that prayer, I began experiencing a new hunger to know Jesus Christ. Within six months, I made a firm decision to forsake homosexuality and follow him. But, unfortunately, none of the leaders on campus or at church knew how to give me hope that my sexual attraction for women would change. My commitment to Christ, however, enabled me to persevere in the face of this discouragement. I immersed myself in Christian activity, although the homosexual attractions never went away.
Eventually I fell into a sexual relationship with Laura, a Christian girlfriend who, like me, struggled with lesbianism. Laura and I looked to each other for emotional fulfilment. At first, it seemed like many of my childhood dreams were being fulfilled through our relationship. But along with some satisfaction came conviction, deception and emotional instability. Laura became my top priority over work, family and friends. Many areas in our lives suffered as a result. Laura even battled with suicidal thoughts. Then Laura and I tried to remain friends, but stop the sexual part of our relationship. But it never worked, because we never addressed the underlying issues.

Finally, after three months of resisting God, I said a very honest prayer: "Lord, you know that I really enjoy this lifestyle, but I want you to be my first love. I need your help. I need you to change my heart." This prayer marked a major turning point in my life.

Shortly after my prayer, Laura and I had dinner with a Christian woman who was a former lesbian. She listened to our story and our questions, and through her we made contact with a Christian ministry solely devoted to helping people overcome homosexuality. The people loved us and cared for us, and eventually Laura and I agreed to give our relationship to God and avoid all contact with each other.

Though angry and frustrated over the break-up with Laura, I continued going to the ministry's meetings for the next 18 months. The insights I gained there were incredibly valuable. I learned how to look for patterns in my same-sex attractions, so I could understand the underlying needs, which sparked the temptations in the first place.

I continued to grow in my relationship with God, and eventually I realized that something had changed deep inside of me. God changed my sexual identity from ex-gay to godly woman. I was learning that God loved me with a gentle delight, especially when I relied on his strength.

During this time, I found myself having a new interest in men, and began spending time with them in-group situations. Then, in mid-1991, I began dating John; a man in my church who like me had come out of homosexuality. On December 31, 1991, he presented me with a ring and asked me to marry him. We were married the following July. I kept looking happily at the ring, thinking, "Wow! Me married!" I was filled with joy as God established something so beautiful and holy in our lives.

Since then, God has used John to comfort me and to confront areas of distrust in my life. This has been difficult, but the Lord has been faithful to fulfil his promise to heal, even when the process is uncomfortable. I am so glad that my Father took the time to unearth the hurts that held me back from growing into godly femininity. Now I don't need to compare myself to other women and don't seek to gain femininity from them through emotional dependency or homosexual relationships. My identity is secure as a woman because I know Christ.

Georgia
Before knowing Christ I was raised in an abusive home with an alcoholic dad. I was asked to leave my home whenever I was sixteen due to having a friendship with a person of another race. I lived in Tennessee so this wasn't unusual for the one town I lived in. After living on the streets with a friend I linked up with for a year, she was murdered. At that point I tried to get off the streets and went to work at a trucking company for a rock yard in which my employer raped me. At this point I called a high school friend and she allowed me to stay with her family for a while. Both of her parents were Christians and active in the church. What a blessing!!! I didn't accept Christ while living with them but at least had the exposure I so desperately needed.

By the age of 18 my mother and dad had divorced so I went with my mum to Washington State and attended college. At the end of my 18th birthday I moved back to Tennessee to be with my brother.

During a date with someone I was raped again. This time it resulted in a pregnancy. The guy said that he loved me after he found out and we had to be married. From this marriage I also had another beautiful daughter. Someone invited me to attend a revival with them at their church in which I agreed to do. The day after the revival was over the pastors came to my home and spoke with me. I accepted Christ at that moment and went just a short time later to be baptised. My husband became extremely abusive around that time and started doing drugs and stealing. My pastor let me know that he was also breaking into the houses of people in the church and that I should think of a separation to keep my daughters and me safe. I did separate and went to live in Arkansas.
A short time later (1 month) he shot himself through the stomach. He didn't die but was committed to an institution. Whenever released they caught him trying to cross the state line with a gun and a goal of killing us. At that point I did divorce him and he was told that if he crossed the line that he would be put back into the institution. For a year in Arkansas I attended school and worked two jobs to support my family. We had a wonderful time and I grew a lot in Christ. We attended church weekly and I even became the church secretary.

In 1989 my sister in Washington introduced me to a man whose wife had left him for another man. He was raising three children on his own and was just needing someone who could understand things to write him. I wrote my first letter to him and three days later I received his letter back. Things took off from there and in 1990 we were married. What a blessing he is to me. We have now been married for 7 years. He is finishing up his license to become a pastor and I now work with an agency that is called Crisis Pregnancy Centre. Our family still has 5 children in it but they have all accepted Christ as their Savior.

Outside of work I do many various projects that involve working with younger people in order to keep them on the right track of knowing Christ. I praise God for taking me from the streets and giving me shelter, safety, food, clothing and many other blessings at the same time. Even before I got off the streets He watched over me and didn't allow me to die like my friend. He has a purpose and how awesome our God is!!!
I was raised a "pagan" and living by they're ways for 22 years. Having an alcohol, drug abusing father who was also physically abusive and a mother who could really care less at the time and a sister who was the "favourite" seems to have made things even worse.

I grew up in the footsteps of my father, loving motorcycles, getting tattoos, and loving my pot and rum! At the age of 17 I got married to a man in the Navy who was a younger version of my father. Always drunk and always abusive. After 2 years of being married to him (together for 5 years) I finally gave up, I could not handle him always eating acid and drinking. My body was to sore from the abuse.

I moved to Miami with my "new man". Our lives seemed to be filled with the same garbage! All the while I am practicing my "pagan" ways and abiding by their laws. Nothing was changing! "My new man" also turned out to be abusive though he was less of a drinker and NOT an acid eater! The cost of living was too high there so we figured moving home to Ohio would help financially and mentally. We were wrong. The abuse got worse and then to top it all off I was now pregnant! "I hope she is a girl so I can show her the ways of all the females on my mother's side", I always said that! The abuse continued and even worsened, I became deaf in my left ear, my wrist was broken and my spine was a mess! Just to name a few.

We always thought geographical location was our problem! HA! Many times I left this man and then got back together with him thinking that he had himself under control now. Things continued just the same even with a beautiful healthy little baby girl with us. Then I became pregnant again, and things still had not changed. After she was born he swore to me that he had changed and treated me like gold. The next incident was the worst that is when I got the broken up body! I left this time for good.
He was on his way to God, while I was on my way to hell with my "paganism". His life got better, I saw him controlling himself (believe me, I tested him!), and I saw the love inside of him growing! I was still unconvinced. I got a job bartending, making good money and having a social life to die for. I thought things were great, then I was raped, had to quit my job (he was a regular there) and stepped back to see what was going on with my girl's. Ooohh... their lives were in shambles. Only 2 and 3, but yet miserable as could be. This is not right I told myself. They were growing up too fast! In the footsteps of all the females in my mother's side. Is this what I wanted?

I was so confused I decided to try to go to church with the girl's father. No, not for me I said (this was Wednesday night). I came home and prayed forgiveness to my imaginary God's. Things in my life got worse and all I could feel was a nagging on my heart to go to a different church. Sunday I called Ty and said I was ready to go again. He took me to his regular church and the Pastor called for people who wanted Christ in they're lives. We looked at each other and I said "no way, not for me buddy!" The next thing I know I am saying this in my head as my feet were carrying me up to the alter! Louis held my hands and prayed for me. The immediate feeling of peace, serenity, contentment and the guilt of my life was lifted away from me. I heard "you are my child and I will take care of you" in my head and tear's came rolling! At one point I looked about me and everybody was surrounding me praying and crying for me! I wish I had the words for the way I felt, but they would be nothing but an understatement!

There is NO drug in this world that can do this except the grace of God. You see, the whole time I was praying to false gods and living in sin, God had not left me; He had not given up on me! He knew what I would do! And to top this off He had much bigger plans in mind! To build a church from bottom up in His name and to start our lives over again with His guidance! Every morning I wake up and praise our Lord with the blessing He has given me of flute music! He has changed our lives 10 times over! No more abuse, no anger, no drugs, alcohol, no confusion.

You see, if God can soften the heart of a "pagan of 22 years" and take all the pain and suffering away what could he do for you? This is not religion, it is a relationship, ask Him He will help, call to Him and He will answer, plead to Him and He will resolve. I am not saying He will do it alone, you need to have an open heart and accept that He is the Lord. There is but one God out there and it is not the dark God's. No, it is God the creator He is the One! I see Him working every minute of the day in my life, my children's lives, and Ty's life. Give Him an honest chance. You will feel Him and know He is there. No matter what you have done in the past!
I am writing my testimony, not as a testament to what I have gone through and accomplished, but as a testament to what God has done in my life and the glorious power He has to work miracles in each of our lives. I was saved at a young age and received the Holy Spirit when I was about twelve years old. Although I wasn't a perfect kid by any means, I tried to do what was right and let the Lord guide my soul so that my will would be moulded to follow His.

I went to a Christian high school my sophomore and Junior years. Mostly because my mother was afraid of my being influenced by the kids who went to public school, but it did do me some good. At the beginning of my junior year I was out riding my off-road motorcycle in a field not far from my house when it broke down. I pushed it up to an old general store where the storekeeper told me he would keep an eye on it while I went to get my truck. When I got back he helped me put it in the truck. We then started talking and the next thing I know he had slipped me some kind of drugs that made my mind spin and magnified all of my fears and emotions. He had gotten me in a storage shed behind the store and started fondling me and trying to make me do things with him.

With the help of God I was able to keep my piece of mind long enough to figure out how to get away but it left permanent scars. My heart and soul turned dark and I became lost to the world. At first I wanted to take revenge against him. But the Lord saved me from that fate by taking away my memory of what the man looked like. Because of the stigma, and the fear of hurting others, I was unable to tell anyone about it. The pain kept building up inside. I couldn't remember what the man looked like so I became leery of everyone I met. The pain was so intense that God finally spared me by taking away my ability to feel the pain and anger within. Unfortunately, with the loss of pain and anger went the ability to Love, rejoice and fellowship. I had always wanted to get married and raise a family but I was unable to get close to anyone or allow anyone to get close to me.

When I prayed to God He told me that He would not leave me. Even though I could no longer feel His Spirit working within me, I knew that He was there. He told me that He had great things planned for me if I would only follow Him. He told me that I would be dead for a while but that I would one day rise up and be healed, that all I wanted would be made available to me, and that my healing would be a blessing to others and help them. Although I could not feel him working in me, he still guided my heart and made me want to do things I would never have thought of otherwise. As I was dead to my own desires it was easy to follow his guidance. He provided a feint light for me at the end of a long dark passage. This light, as feint as it was, was enough to give me the strength to carry on and guide me out of the darkness. It has been almost seventeen years now and I am finally emerging to praise His name.

It is still difficult. Having to deal with my emotions for the first time in so long brings new challenges every day. My own will is emerging again and making it difficult to follow the guidance of God's Holy Spirit. But with prayer and fellowship, the presence of the Sprit of the Lord can be strengthened within my heart and overcome the temptations of the flesh. God has worked many miracles in my life. His invisible hand has guided events to help me more times than I can count. Everything positive that has ever happened to me has been because of the almighty hand of God. The Devil can no longer hold me down. I will be victorious! Or rather, God will be victorious through me.

I was awakened from my sleep by a hair-raising scream! As I jumped up in bed to see what was wrong, my mother came running out of her bedroom, holding her hand over her eye. Still screaming she brought
Her hand down; it was obvious she had been hit ... hit hard. My dad was doing it again! This was a familiar scene at my house. My dad would beat on my mum when she couldn't or wouldn't meet his demands. Most of the time, he would be drunk, but not always. He was abusive to his children ... me.

I don't want to go into great detail here, so I hope a summary will do. I was deprived of simple things in life that most people my age had in abundance. I was exposed to a cold, immoral, sinful, abusive way
of life. I lived in constant fear when my dad was drinking. I never knew what he would do next.

There was incest in my family and my dad's friends were like him, sometimes touching me where they shouldn't. I would never tell on them because I was afraid my dad would make me let them do other things! That was a big load for a little girl, so I quickly learned to stay far away from dad and his friends. As a result of my childhood, I started looking for an escape. At age 15, I married a man who would, in a span of six years, become the father of our two girls. He loved us and left us. He had bouts of abusive behaviour as well as drugs and drinking problems, which ultimately lead to his death in an automobile accident.

Alone at 21, there were so many heavy things to deal with on my own. I was broke, laid off from my job; the accident had totalled my car, not to mention the responsibility of raising my 2 and 4-year-old girls.
Soon after, my brother came to live with us and was a great help during the hardest years of my life. I can remember praying and asking God, "What am I supposed to do?" I did not attend church at the time but instinctively knew that there was a God. Though I didn't know it, God was in control of my life. I made two moves and then started to school where I met a man who eventually became my best friend on earth. After a time, Mark took my girls and I to a church where I started learning about God and His grace, mercy, love, forgiveness, peace, joy and lasting satisfaction! What a God! And, what a friend. Mark was so different from all the other men in my life. He was kind, loving, and generous - qualities quite the opposite of what I'd ever known. I feel that God was loving me through him. As you can well imagine, Mark not only led me to Christ but also became my husband and the "daddy" of my two girls.

The Lord worked many miracles in our lives. I was baptised in the lovely name of Jesus and received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. The Lord gave the same attention to our two girls, Bernadette and Monica. We may not always understand the difficult things we go through, but when God is in control, we will not merely be survivors, but winners.

We now worship with God's people at Church in Puyallup, WA. This is something important to me, and I would like to share this kind of godly love with the whole world. If there is a need in your life, my God
Can be your God. I know from personal experience that He will love unconditionally.

Delivered from the Hurt of Abuse and the Scars of Sin
My Testimony of God’s Amazing Grace
By: Shelia Holcomb

Before I begin my testimony I feel it is important to give you some information on my childhood, so you will be better able to understand some of the decisions I made in my life, however stupid they may have been. But every decision I have made during my lifetime good or bad is what has brought me to where I am now and I am very thankful for the mountains and the valleys.

When I was born my mother was only fifteen years old and now years later and after I went through the process of forgiving her and working through many things, I am now able to look at her life through her eyes to try to better understand how she must have felt. Someone gave me this advice when I was really struggling with all of this, I was told that maybe I could forgive easier if I try to see her life through her eyes and not the eyes of a hurt child, you know what, it worked, I can understand her more clearly now. She was not mature enough to take care of herself much less a baby. So she would send me here and there to whomever would willing to take me at that particular time, most of the time it was my grandmother, several times throughout my life she would decide that she wanted me back and she would come and uproot me again. I never really knew any stability in my life and I always felt as if no one really loved me or wanted me.

Then at the age of nine she came and got me and took me away from my grandmother which, really at this point of my life, was the only mother I had ever known and I was very attached to her. Anyway, my mother came and took me to Illinois where she lived, by this time she had remarried and she had two more children by her new husband. He hated me and the only reason I could figure out was simply that I was not his child. Now this was not my fault, although I did blame myself for many years. He started just physically abusing me, but at the age of nine that changed, he raped me and this abuse went on until I was thirteen and I finally told my mother, she didn’t believe me, actually no one believed me. Finally I just let it drop and I buried all of those feelings of anger and hate for years, that has now all been dealt with and forgiven and now it is all under the precious blood of Jesus, Praise God. I told my mother that I wanted to go back to Memphis to live with my grandmother and she consented just because she felt I was causing so much trouble and she did not want to be bothered.

Now my grandmother was now also remarried and I resented him for taking her away from me too. You must remember I was only a child and I felt like she was all I had and now I had lost her too. I was very hateful to him and caused so many problems, he was very kind and loving to me but I just could not accept what he was offering to me. My grandmother finally after a long struggle went to the courts and told the judge that I was out of control and they just could not handle me any longer, so they removed me and placed me in a foster home, the home I went to was wonderful, but at that time I could not see things clearly, all I could see was that the only person who should love me had now turned her back on me as well, I just wanted my grandmother so, I ran away. The courts then really called my bluff, so as a ward of the State of Tennessee I was placed in a Catholic all girls reform school for three and a half years. Now as I look back, I can honestly say it was one of th!
e best things that ever happened to me. But at that time all I could see was that I was totally alone, unloved and unwanted in this great big world.

Now I will jump ahead some. In 1987 I lost my three children to their father and I totally lost it. I turned heavily to alcohol and eventually that turned into crack and cocaine. By this time I had lost everything including my dignity as I had turned to prostitution to support my drug habit. I was arrested several times on various charges, but I was never convicted and I never served any time, I know that God was taking care of me even back them in my sin, He saw what I would be one day in Him. I give GOD all the PRAISE, HONOR AND GLORY for all that I am today and all that I will be.

The drugs and my roaming had taken me to many places but on December 20, 1990 I came across a man that told me about Jesus and how He could deliver me and make my life an example to others. I had not eaten in a couple of days and he asked me if I was hungry, so he took me to a restaurant and bought me something to eat. The entire time he shared about Jesus Christ with me. He told me Christ could and would set me free if I was willing, and how He (Jesus), would give me a new life without all the pain and turmoil I was living in. Of course being a Christian does not eliminate us from pain, trials and tribulation but with Christ in our hearts He will give us the strength to overcome and withstand even in the worst times. I began sharing my life story with this man and he still said Jesus is the answer, and boy was he right. Right there I gave my heart to the Lord and I decided to live for Him and serve Him for the rest of my life.

I had been singing for many years and I had destroyed my voice through drug abuse, I just abused the gifts that God had given me. So I prayed and told the Lord that if He would heal and restore my voice I would use this gift for His glory for the rest of my life. Now, God has done exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think. The songs that I sing and others that I have written they are all His I am only an instrument holding the pen. It does not matter where you are, Christ will come to you and meet you if, you are willing to let your life go and let Him be God of and in your life.

I have had so many miracles in my Christian life as I am a walking miracle myself. One of these miracles really stands out to me and I would like to share this with you as well. About four or five years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable bowel condition, the doctors were not real sure what it was exactly, but they had come to the conclusion that with ulcers all through my body and many in my bowel system, they said they wanted to do surgery and remove some of the bowel. My reply was that I wanted to get prayer for this and that I believed that God was going to heal me and I will not need the surgery at all. They went ahead and scheduled me for another scope the following week, just a few days after Christmas. Then on Christmas Eve I placed a long distance call to a minister friend of mine and asked him to pray for me, he said no problem but he would need to call me back in a few minutes. While waiting for him to call back I got about ten bibles and placed them opene!
d on the floor in a circle and one opened in the middle of the circle. When he called me back I knelt on the bible in the middle and said, “pray”. When he prayed for me the fire of God hit me and went through me, I had such a peace come over me. I went over to my bed and fell asleep (now Adam was put into a deep sleep in Genesis when God removed the rib to create woman) God did the same for me as I lay there sleeping He performed surgery on me to heal my body. I slept for seventeen hours and when I woke the bleeding had stopped and so had the pain, I knew without a doubt that I was healed by the precious hand of the Master. I was on about $400.00 worth of medicine a month and I went into the kitchen and threw it all in the trash. I did go back for the scope when I was scheduled and the doctors were amazed there were no ulcers anywhere and I just praised God for His healing power.

I am now an ordained minister and I am married to a wonderful man who is also a minister. We know God has put us together for a ministry and we are enjoying serving the Lord together. I am now a southern gospel singer\songwriter. The Lord has blessed me and I will continue on this road He has placed me on for my desire is only to serve Him. I will travel anywhere I am invited to give my testimony or to sing or both. God is wonderful and it is to His glory that I am writing this, if one soul is reached in any way then this is worth everything.

Again I cannot stress enough that this is for the glory of God that I am here and that my life is what it is today, for without Christ we are nothing, but through Him we are joint heirs with Him. He is our Deliverer, Savior, Helper, and Healer and any problem we may have is never to great for Him to help us, we just have to take it to Him and leave it at His feet and in His care. I thank God for His power is still healing, still saving and still delivering. He is good all the time. I have made my mistakes but His grace is sufficient. God loves us and if we truly repent and confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If we can help anyone out there, please contact us at the information provided below and we will do our best to help in any way we can. If you have questions about loved ones who may be on drugs or other addictions we will try to answer your questions, if we do not know we will do our best to find the answer for you. If you have loved ones that you need prayer for we will gladly join you in agreeing for that person for the Kingdom. Please always remember we are human and we will make mistakes but just confess to God those mistakes and get them under the blood of Jesus as soon as possible, God still loves us and He will help us in all of our situations.

GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL. I GIVE FULL PERMISSION TO ANYONE WHO CAN USE THIS TESTIMONY TO COPY IT AND GIVE IT OUT OR TO SHARE IT PUBLICALLY, BUT PLEASE GIVE ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE TO GOD. THANK-YOU. WE ARE YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER IN CHRIST JESUS.

Jerry & Shelia Holcomb

Feel free to email us at:rainbow@imws.net
www.rainbowoftexas.org